So I was listening to my favorite podcast (shameless plug) The Fingerbucket Report (shameless plug) and it started me thinking about words.

Not just any words, but words that sound like they should be about one thing, but are actually about another.

For example, and to borrow from (shameless plug) The Fingerbucket Report (shameless plug), let’s look at the word “philatelist”. Sure, in truth it means, “a person who collects stamps”, but if someone were to confide in you “hey, did you know that my uncle is an avid philatelist” you can’t tell me that the first thing that pops in to your head is “stamp collector”. Nope, I bet that you’d be thinking of a slightly more naught “TMI-y” variety.

So, I have thrown down a gauntlet to myself to strive for both childishness AND pedantry. Therefore, I shall freely and in accurate context use such words as “analemma”, “logorrhea” and “masticate”. Watch me as I deftly describe that special sort of fellow as a “pants rabbit”. Stand back jaw agape and legs akimbo as I roll back my “furbelow” and plant “rape seed” so that it grows in a “vaginervose” manner across the “hoary” cliff side.

Okay, wow, I’m having way too much fun with this.

So tell me, readers, what’s your favorite naughty sounding but not actually naughty word(s)?

Until next time I’ll be using Foucault’s pendulum to circumscribe the Earth.